Internship @ Berea College: Day 58 (Entry 58)

I am coming up on my presentation for my internship. Here are some thoughts about the road so far.

As I come to a close on my internship (another two week to go), I have had to deal with frustration. I have not experienced stress during my internship. It has been like a vacation for me. However, I do have to prepare myself for my presentation and for the close of my time here in Berea.

I have had to experience letting go of projects in many different ways throughout my college and work career. I have had projects at work where they started, where stopped because of a decision from higher ups, picked up again because of higher ups, and then stopped again. I have had to deal with big, important projects at work where I have a deadline and they need to get done, complete.

In my course work and in my jobs, I have also had to deal with what I am feeling now. I have projects that only get to a certain stopping point. I do not have the time, skills, or go ahead to take the project any further. For example, in systems analysis and design, I had a project where my team had to take a problem in a company and find solutions that they could implement. It was a lot of work and we handed the solutions to them. However, we do not have a hand in implementing or even knowing if they will take our advice.

I have a holistic view of projects. I like to see the whole picture. However, I cannot always complete the whole project. I have had to learn with my course work and though my jobs about letting projects go for many reasons: the plug has been pulled, we are only going to a certain point, someone else has the skills to finish ans I am needed elsewhere. This internship has given me a continuing experience with this.

All the projects that I have been managing for these past months are now to the point where a person with the skill or the person who has the job to implement the ideas is suppose to take them. At first, when I was thinking of my progress with my projects for this internship, I felt I had not finished them. Now, I know that I have not "finished" them, but got them to the point that Julia expected and I needed to get them to so that Julia, Charlotte, or someone else could run with.

I have learned that I may be alone while working on a specific part of a project, but most projects are part of a whole team and others will most likely get their hands on it because I will never have all the skills to take a project from start to finish. I love that I have the skill and can be a big part of all the projects I have worked on this summer. I do not relish having to give them up. But I trust these people to take them and do something with them.

The biggest professional lesson I have learned from this internship has been to let go. I am not expected to have all the answers. I am not expected to have all the skill. I am not expected to take a project from start to finish. And that is okay. I can be a big part of a project. I can be involved. I can keep giving advice and letting people know my thoughts. I am capable of getting a project where it needs to be for someone to step in and take it over. I am capable of letting people know my thoughts and process so they can take it over and know where I have been.

All these years of working with projects have gotten me to this point. I will continue to work on letting projects go, but I will always try to do as much as I can. I just have to change my perspective so that I know I have done all that I can.